Shiney Happy Jenn
06-20-2005, 10:24 PM
And now for something "completely different"....
For fans of the "Owl Saga" ( see "Why the RAE Really Went Away" thread) i have created a all new addition! Here now i present what will hopefully become a series....the ROCK-AFIRE REVIEW!
Tonight's first ephisode: Starring your favorite celebrity in pizzadom...Mike Manly!
Take it away Mike!
( thunderous applause)
( lights dim as cameras roll)
Hello Pizzadom! Welcome to our ALL NEW SHOW: The Rock-aFire Review! I'm you host, Mike Manly. You may have seen me in such shows as "World Adventure" and "Chuck E.s Variety Show" and such movies as "Gone with the Wing" and "Pizza Wars" ( cameo role). That was then..this is NOW. I am now a converted RAE Fan and i'm not afraid to admit that on the air.
Tonight, it is my pleasure to introduce you to the first of hopefully many guests we will be interviewing on this exciting new program!
He's a longtime member of the Showbiz Pizza Band we all know and love, The Rock-aFire Explosion. He came onboard when things were starting to pick up for the then fledgeling band of musicians and helped out a old friend in the meantime. He's been there, seen it all....the incredible highs and the disgraceful lows. He has seen it all, and tonight i'm thrilled to personally invite him here into our studios.
Please welcome our special guest, Earl Shmerle!
( thunderous applause)
Earl--( waves to audience)
Mike-- Welcome Earl! Thank you for joining us this evening in our lovely Burbank Studios.
Earl-- Yeah yeah...whatever. Thanks for the grub...and the free parking man...
Mike-- Tonight you hold the destinction of being the very first guest on this brand new program. How does that make you feel?
Earl-- Pretty BORED actually as nothing has happend on this show yet!
( audience laughs)
Mike--Earl, let's start off the interview with some questions about your early days. How did you first get into Show Business?
Earl--About the same time i could get out of my pants!
( more laughing from audience)
Mike-- Earl, seriously now......
Earl--What, NOW??? I have'nt even done "seriously YET"
Mike--The folks would like to know what it was that inspired you to be a entertainer.
Earl--Okay Mike...i wuz just kidding back there......the real inspriration came from my teachers in school when i wuz growing up.
Mike--Really?
Earl--Yah, they all said "Earl, you have nothing going for you so why don't you just go out in the world and have someone else make you into someone!" I had to admit it sounded promising!
Mike--So how did it all begin?
Earl--Well, i went down to the local carnivals to maybe score....uh, i mean score a job.
Mike--Mmm hmmm.....
Earl-- ...and they was all, well, all too interested to help me. This guy seemed to know the answer to all my problems. Next thing i know, i'm being tacked to the foam board of some carny game...you know those ripoff skill games at those things? The owner had me as his top prize! What a geek....Never trust a Carny people!
Mike-- Oh geez!
Earl-- Yah, so dare i wuz looking like the saddest thing you ever saw and unable to do anything about it!! This ticked me off to no end. Some say that's how a got my attitude. You know how people talk about me having a bad attitude? Well, you would have a bad attitude too if you spent 5 years tacked onto a carival prize rack.
Mike-- 5 YEARS??!!
Earl--Yah....5 freakin' years man! Out there in the hot sun...getting things thrown at you or shot at you....can't count how may times i picked a dart outta my teeth back then. That's why i don't have any teeth now!
Mike-- But Earl, why on earth did you put up with this for 5 years??
Earl-- I had no choice moron! You try gettin' down when you are up that high and you are only a foot tall! I had to wait it out until someone had the smarts to "win" me! Do you have any idea how LONG it takes for someone to win one of those "big prizes" at those fair games??? Forever man!! Jesus!
Mike--So who finally did the deed and "saved you" from these lifestyle?
Earl--Ah, some wolfman. He was a geek. He tried to be a smoothy but i could see through that get-up. But hey, i owe em' as if he did'nt play " Wizzin' Wipper" i would'nt be here right now.
Mike-- So who was this wolfman? What can you tell us about him?
Earl--( takes a drink from his mug of hard cider) Ahhhh some loser. He called himself the WolfMan when he was out swinging to try to impress the broads. But he was a geek. They knew it too...so he ever brought anyone home. Pretty pathetic if ya ask me...exspecially considering his REAL NAME was "Clyde"!
Mike--How did he help you acheive your destiny?
Earl-- Well, the Wolfster was in Showbiz...not the Company, the biz that is show-business, follow me?
Mike-- Uh, i think so....
Earl--( getting impatient) Okay, for those of you who are STUPID here...the WolfMan was in show business! Ya know, the business of doing shows!! Geez, you people are thick....
Mike-- Continue ....
Earl--What? With the story, or insulting you pinheads??
Mike--Er, the story if you please.....
Earl-- Oh yah....( coughs)
So da wolf Clyde at that time was a loser. He thought he was cool, but he was penniless and living in a dumpster out on Staten Island. He would comb da fishskins outta his hair and spray himself up to smell nice to go into town and try to mingle with those freak show people. Bunch a weirdos they are....He has this crazy fetish to one day be a glamorous entertainer...says it was his life goal to give Wolves a good name after the thousands of years of bad raps. He started dressing all weird and glitzy..i was starting to worry man! At the time i thought he was cracked...but in hindsight i see now he was a genius. He knew nobody would listen to him if he did'nt look like he was worth a million bucks....he knew the way the racket worked. He hatched a plan to get together with his buddies and old hall performers left over from cancelled local freak animal attractions. I thought he was nuts, but i had nothing and it looked like i was destined to go no where so took a chance and decided to try it out. We would hang out at bars all night trying to find suitable "talent"...namely anyone who wanted in on this crazy idea. A few came by and showed interest...a mutt, obsessed with the Beatles, a drunken beach bum of a bear, this very hot fox i so wanted to....uh, sing for us....and big ol' ugly mug of a gorillia. they were all rejects. I wanted nothing to do with them so i was only a roadie those first couple of years. I did'nt have the interest to perform onstage until much later.
Mike--So The WolfMan was working the local sites...checking out the places to try to lineup some gigs then?
Earl-- No...he was working the local girls and checking out the places to score!
( audience laughs somewhat)
Mike--So eventually he found you all a gig....
Earl--Yah, in some dump near the East River. Man that place stunk. I think the owner had a collection of microscopic mold spore going under everything as the place reeked. i was glad when that night was over, but anything is better then the dumpster i still was sharing with Cylde.
Mike-- So this was the birth of "The Wolfpack 5" i take it....
Earl-- Yeah, somethin' like that. I drank too much back then so don't really remember much about it. The name of the band was a play on what we called ourselves then: "The Six-Pack 5". We had to change it for obvious reasons. We went on like that for a while, then we got a break and had to make a choice as to wether or not move to the midwest or stay on the East Coast. I looked at Clyde's dumpster and it did'nt take me long to decide.
Mike-- I bet you are glad you did decide it in the end now...
Earl--Yeah, it meant i no longer had to wake up to soggy doggie-butt every morning! Geez i told you he stank!
( audience getting a little grossed out now...)
Mike--Where did all of you have to move to?
Earl-- Oh man...i ferget. I was so outta it back them man....someplace out in the midwest. Antioch i can rememeber as that was also the name of my drinking buddy who eventually joined the Band once we hit the big time.
Mike-- Ah yes...so you had scored your first gig for the then brand new Showbiz Pizza concept.
Earl--Yah, but none of us in the band had any clue at the time. We were so stoned, we did'nt know it was night or day back then. At least a few of us were....the Gorillia and Clyde were fine...they ran the operations in the Band. That hot fox too...she was pretty straight in those respects....but the dog and bear were totally plastered most of the time. Can't recall how many pay checks were used by them to cover there "expenses"....( laughs)
Mike-- Sounds pretty intense.
Earl--Yeah it was, but we had fun and that's what matters when you are down and out and have nothing going for you.
Mike--Well things changed for the better! That gig led to better things did'nt it?
Ealr-- Yeah, like a regular income! It was nice...all i had to do is tolerate the dips. Eventually once we were a hit, Cylde and Fatz decided it was time to dump the losers who could'nt hold there own. We did'nt know a lot of folks then so we left it up to the family of Dingo to find a suitable replacement. We knew there younger son Dook was a winner so he was put in the group and Beach Bear had to take a few weeks off to go to rehab. It worked wonders...when he came back he looked 20 years younger! He still acted a little spaced out at times, but it was no ways near as severe.
Mike--Sounds like things really turned around for you guys.
Earl--Yeah, things were looking up until the time came that Cylde was going to retire. We had been togther from the beginning and even though i started off thinking he was a jerk, in the end i really missed his ugly mug. He saved me from landfill obliteration and ended up introducing me to the guy who was to become my partner in show business..Rolfe DeWolfe!
Mike--And that tale we shall hear in just a moment...we'll be ight back folks!
(enthusiastic applause from audience)
For fans of the "Owl Saga" ( see "Why the RAE Really Went Away" thread) i have created a all new addition! Here now i present what will hopefully become a series....the ROCK-AFIRE REVIEW!
Tonight's first ephisode: Starring your favorite celebrity in pizzadom...Mike Manly!
Take it away Mike!
( thunderous applause)
( lights dim as cameras roll)
Hello Pizzadom! Welcome to our ALL NEW SHOW: The Rock-aFire Review! I'm you host, Mike Manly. You may have seen me in such shows as "World Adventure" and "Chuck E.s Variety Show" and such movies as "Gone with the Wing" and "Pizza Wars" ( cameo role). That was then..this is NOW. I am now a converted RAE Fan and i'm not afraid to admit that on the air.
Tonight, it is my pleasure to introduce you to the first of hopefully many guests we will be interviewing on this exciting new program!
He's a longtime member of the Showbiz Pizza Band we all know and love, The Rock-aFire Explosion. He came onboard when things were starting to pick up for the then fledgeling band of musicians and helped out a old friend in the meantime. He's been there, seen it all....the incredible highs and the disgraceful lows. He has seen it all, and tonight i'm thrilled to personally invite him here into our studios.
Please welcome our special guest, Earl Shmerle!
( thunderous applause)
Earl--( waves to audience)
Mike-- Welcome Earl! Thank you for joining us this evening in our lovely Burbank Studios.
Earl-- Yeah yeah...whatever. Thanks for the grub...and the free parking man...
Mike-- Tonight you hold the destinction of being the very first guest on this brand new program. How does that make you feel?
Earl-- Pretty BORED actually as nothing has happend on this show yet!
( audience laughs)
Mike--Earl, let's start off the interview with some questions about your early days. How did you first get into Show Business?
Earl--About the same time i could get out of my pants!
( more laughing from audience)
Mike-- Earl, seriously now......
Earl--What, NOW??? I have'nt even done "seriously YET"
Mike--The folks would like to know what it was that inspired you to be a entertainer.
Earl--Okay Mike...i wuz just kidding back there......the real inspriration came from my teachers in school when i wuz growing up.
Mike--Really?
Earl--Yah, they all said "Earl, you have nothing going for you so why don't you just go out in the world and have someone else make you into someone!" I had to admit it sounded promising!
Mike--So how did it all begin?
Earl--Well, i went down to the local carnivals to maybe score....uh, i mean score a job.
Mike--Mmm hmmm.....
Earl-- ...and they was all, well, all too interested to help me. This guy seemed to know the answer to all my problems. Next thing i know, i'm being tacked to the foam board of some carny game...you know those ripoff skill games at those things? The owner had me as his top prize! What a geek....Never trust a Carny people!
Mike-- Oh geez!
Earl-- Yah, so dare i wuz looking like the saddest thing you ever saw and unable to do anything about it!! This ticked me off to no end. Some say that's how a got my attitude. You know how people talk about me having a bad attitude? Well, you would have a bad attitude too if you spent 5 years tacked onto a carival prize rack.
Mike-- 5 YEARS??!!
Earl--Yah....5 freakin' years man! Out there in the hot sun...getting things thrown at you or shot at you....can't count how may times i picked a dart outta my teeth back then. That's why i don't have any teeth now!
Mike-- But Earl, why on earth did you put up with this for 5 years??
Earl-- I had no choice moron! You try gettin' down when you are up that high and you are only a foot tall! I had to wait it out until someone had the smarts to "win" me! Do you have any idea how LONG it takes for someone to win one of those "big prizes" at those fair games??? Forever man!! Jesus!
Mike--So who finally did the deed and "saved you" from these lifestyle?
Earl--Ah, some wolfman. He was a geek. He tried to be a smoothy but i could see through that get-up. But hey, i owe em' as if he did'nt play " Wizzin' Wipper" i would'nt be here right now.
Mike-- So who was this wolfman? What can you tell us about him?
Earl--( takes a drink from his mug of hard cider) Ahhhh some loser. He called himself the WolfMan when he was out swinging to try to impress the broads. But he was a geek. They knew it too...so he ever brought anyone home. Pretty pathetic if ya ask me...exspecially considering his REAL NAME was "Clyde"!
Mike--How did he help you acheive your destiny?
Earl-- Well, the Wolfster was in Showbiz...not the Company, the biz that is show-business, follow me?
Mike-- Uh, i think so....
Earl--( getting impatient) Okay, for those of you who are STUPID here...the WolfMan was in show business! Ya know, the business of doing shows!! Geez, you people are thick....
Mike-- Continue ....
Earl--What? With the story, or insulting you pinheads??
Mike--Er, the story if you please.....
Earl-- Oh yah....( coughs)
So da wolf Clyde at that time was a loser. He thought he was cool, but he was penniless and living in a dumpster out on Staten Island. He would comb da fishskins outta his hair and spray himself up to smell nice to go into town and try to mingle with those freak show people. Bunch a weirdos they are....He has this crazy fetish to one day be a glamorous entertainer...says it was his life goal to give Wolves a good name after the thousands of years of bad raps. He started dressing all weird and glitzy..i was starting to worry man! At the time i thought he was cracked...but in hindsight i see now he was a genius. He knew nobody would listen to him if he did'nt look like he was worth a million bucks....he knew the way the racket worked. He hatched a plan to get together with his buddies and old hall performers left over from cancelled local freak animal attractions. I thought he was nuts, but i had nothing and it looked like i was destined to go no where so took a chance and decided to try it out. We would hang out at bars all night trying to find suitable "talent"...namely anyone who wanted in on this crazy idea. A few came by and showed interest...a mutt, obsessed with the Beatles, a drunken beach bum of a bear, this very hot fox i so wanted to....uh, sing for us....and big ol' ugly mug of a gorillia. they were all rejects. I wanted nothing to do with them so i was only a roadie those first couple of years. I did'nt have the interest to perform onstage until much later.
Mike--So The WolfMan was working the local sites...checking out the places to try to lineup some gigs then?
Earl-- No...he was working the local girls and checking out the places to score!
( audience laughs somewhat)
Mike--So eventually he found you all a gig....
Earl--Yah, in some dump near the East River. Man that place stunk. I think the owner had a collection of microscopic mold spore going under everything as the place reeked. i was glad when that night was over, but anything is better then the dumpster i still was sharing with Cylde.
Mike-- So this was the birth of "The Wolfpack 5" i take it....
Earl-- Yeah, somethin' like that. I drank too much back then so don't really remember much about it. The name of the band was a play on what we called ourselves then: "The Six-Pack 5". We had to change it for obvious reasons. We went on like that for a while, then we got a break and had to make a choice as to wether or not move to the midwest or stay on the East Coast. I looked at Clyde's dumpster and it did'nt take me long to decide.
Mike-- I bet you are glad you did decide it in the end now...
Earl--Yeah, it meant i no longer had to wake up to soggy doggie-butt every morning! Geez i told you he stank!
( audience getting a little grossed out now...)
Mike--Where did all of you have to move to?
Earl-- Oh man...i ferget. I was so outta it back them man....someplace out in the midwest. Antioch i can rememeber as that was also the name of my drinking buddy who eventually joined the Band once we hit the big time.
Mike-- Ah yes...so you had scored your first gig for the then brand new Showbiz Pizza concept.
Earl--Yah, but none of us in the band had any clue at the time. We were so stoned, we did'nt know it was night or day back then. At least a few of us were....the Gorillia and Clyde were fine...they ran the operations in the Band. That hot fox too...she was pretty straight in those respects....but the dog and bear were totally plastered most of the time. Can't recall how many pay checks were used by them to cover there "expenses"....( laughs)
Mike-- Sounds pretty intense.
Earl--Yeah it was, but we had fun and that's what matters when you are down and out and have nothing going for you.
Mike--Well things changed for the better! That gig led to better things did'nt it?
Ealr-- Yeah, like a regular income! It was nice...all i had to do is tolerate the dips. Eventually once we were a hit, Cylde and Fatz decided it was time to dump the losers who could'nt hold there own. We did'nt know a lot of folks then so we left it up to the family of Dingo to find a suitable replacement. We knew there younger son Dook was a winner so he was put in the group and Beach Bear had to take a few weeks off to go to rehab. It worked wonders...when he came back he looked 20 years younger! He still acted a little spaced out at times, but it was no ways near as severe.
Mike--Sounds like things really turned around for you guys.
Earl--Yeah, things were looking up until the time came that Cylde was going to retire. We had been togther from the beginning and even though i started off thinking he was a jerk, in the end i really missed his ugly mug. He saved me from landfill obliteration and ended up introducing me to the guy who was to become my partner in show business..Rolfe DeWolfe!
Mike--And that tale we shall hear in just a moment...we'll be ight back folks!
(enthusiastic applause from audience)